She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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