So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
