HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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