problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
