He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
birth control should be required to get into college
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
