Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
