it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
