I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
