Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
