I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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