I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is it penis luge time yet?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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