thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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