You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
bring money and cleavage
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
