Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
