I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
