We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
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why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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