a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
