I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
