i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
