Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
