You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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