1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
