how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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