Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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