Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
