just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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