he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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