it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize