These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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