my phone needs a breathalizer
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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