The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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