i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
