So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
