She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
