we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
