She's JV to your varsity
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
