ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize