i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
