he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
