I'm going to jail i love you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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