i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
