Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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