There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
