the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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