So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Damn victory sex feels great
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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