hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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