Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
