people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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