I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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