He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
