You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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