I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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