shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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