she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
