i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
