I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
