So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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