I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
