You smell like a Billy Joel song
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
