Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This girl is more easily done than said...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
