I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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