I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
