Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
