just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
