He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?