I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later