I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.