I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
