Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
