Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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