Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
