I met the friendliest cop last night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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