i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
