Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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